another one of those that shouldnt even be

wouldnt it be nice if at the moment you wake up, you're greeted by the drooling face of the love of your life? you have to admit, no matter how icky that is, you still find it adorable. wouldnt it be nice to come home to that person who makes everything seem like heaven and more? i've been through all that and a little bit more.

i loved coming home to our apartment, sleep in our bed, eat with our plates and watch shows and dvds on our t.v. we work in the same company but we had different shifts the first few months we lived together. i was graveyard, his schedule was from 6 am to 2 pm. so while he was at work, he would email me at work (although he knows i wont check it till i get to work that night) and tell me to have a good shift and how he's going to be excited to see me when he gets to work the next day and how he would love to make love to me when he gets home. home. it sounded so good coming from him... he wants to come home to me.

living with him felt so much like being married to him. we both had to deal with the bills, laundry, food and the like. we also had to clean up after ourselves since we both dont have anybody to clean for us anymore like we used to. during the first month it was just me and him. and then after a week a girl from work wanted to move in with us. we had two bedrooms anyway and we were using just one so we decided to wing it and take her in. we all just clicked. she made the house brighter and she became our "baby". one cool memory of that apartment was when we decided to do a little general cleaning. we poured water all over the place and then the (x) bf (the perv!) splashed us with water. so it was like a wet-tshirt-clean-the-house contest. obviously, he enjoyed the chores more than we did :) having a roomie was more fun than we could imagine. she dated a guy who hooked us up with unlimited cable for a fixed price of 2thoupesos (read: illegal). she provided entertainment in the wee hours of the morning or midday.. that is hearing them doing the old in-out. to be fair, we sometimes keep her up too *grin*

when we made our first major purchase together, it was like another step towards something big. we bought a refrigerator. he called it our little green baby. he wanted to put another lock on the door just to protect it and whenever we were out for a long time he would worry about who would take care of our other baby. he and i discoved a lot of stuff about each other that either made or broke the relationship. in my perspective (the loving, honest and affectionate one) all of his "bad" habits became endearing. i used to love knowing that this guy isnt perfect but he's trying to be just for me (or so i thought). my pet peeves really became the things that i love the most about him. i used to hate basketball. dont know who, dont care why thats what i say. but during the course of our relationship i was forced to watch basketball games since he loved them so much i couldnt say no to him. little by little i started asking questions and i quickly learned who played with what team, who sucked and who rocks. now, thanks to him, i can talk basketball with any afficionado. know what they're talking about and be able to comment too! he was such a ps2 addict. you won't believe how much time he spends playing his 2kwhatevers and rpgs. sometimes his body just gives up on him.. he falls asleep with the game on and controller in hand with his fingers twitching.. and i would find that.. well, cute. i grew to love watching him play and at times he wouldnt play a new game if i wasnt there. (of course it's all different now) he wouldnt play a scary game because he wants me to be there to be scared with him. cheesy stuff you know.



looking back, i came into thinking if it was all for convenience? was it just easier for me to live in manila than go home to pampanga everyday from work? was it just easier for the both of us? financially intelligent to share expenses? emotionally helpful to have someone to talk to in the wee hours of the morning when you can't sleep because your biological clock wont let you? physically? well, sure, we can say we physically connected but it wasnt just that.
i would like to think that whatever happened to us was just a product of convenience. something i had to do. something wise to do...
i would like to think that everything we went through was just part of the lesson i had to learn about life. he taught me how to be independent ( in a way), how to take care of someone other than myself, how to do stuff i havent done before, like love and get left behind and love again. or at least stand up and live life again.

that was fun. i hope i dont get to do that again.