you shouldnt have dumdum. you shouldnt have answered his call, you shouldnt have im'd him back. you shouldnt have given in to his hi's and miss you's. you shouldnt have talked to him at all. you shouldve ignored him completely or you shouldve just forgotten he existed.
i know you're confused sometimes on how to approach this. i know that you have a lot of questions that dont really need an answer to because you already know the answers. i know that this emotional rollercoaster ride is getting the best of you but i also know that you are so much stronger than this.. and that you can and will get over whatever it is that's bothering you. i know that when you left you wanted something better for yourself and for the people you love. i also know that you left to escape your past, to forget and eventually forgive the people who hurt you. i know you. i know that you will find that heart, the heart that's not completely healed but stronger. because we both know that it is the hardships and the bumps that makes us who we are.. a better person after all that.
so remember, that you are a strong person.. you are a force to be reckoned with.. you are loved by so many you have absolutely no idea how humungous your backup is.. you are someone and that you, yes you will have to suck it up and move on!