ignorance is bliss

i did not know what to do the minute i saw that hand swooping towards me... the hand that held my hand when i was scared, the hand that swept my hair behind my ear oh so gently, the hand that hugged me when i needed one, the hand that i thought would protect me was now going to hit me. i heard a clap and then ringing in my ears. all i could do was hold my cheek. it was warm. not because i was blushing but because blood came rushing to my cheek to cushion the blow. it's true, just like in the movies, once you get hit, you can't do much except look at whoever hit you with that look of awe on your face and then cry. i had a single tear come running down my cheek. i couldnt even scream. my first thoughts were "why?" and "how could you?". i was thinking about going away, running away before he could do something else, but i wanted him to know that i wouldnt take it that easily. i stood up tall and tried to protect myself. i hurt him with words instead of hitting him back. my bad. he retaliated with more blows. i protected my stomach and my face and he ended up hitting me on my back. blow after blow after blow. i begged him to stop. but i just whispered it. i didnt want him to know that i was a wuss. i am strong, i said to myself. i heard hollow thuds whenever his fist hit my back. i let out a small moan every time.. till finally he stopped. 30 seconds seemed like forever. i was down. i was crying. i finally managed to let it all out and just cry. he looked at me. he was crying too. he said he was sorry and he hugged me. the hand that hugged me was back. i welcomed it. i was happy again. happy that it stopped, happy that he was hugging me again. i was quiet. i couldnt find the heart to forgive him right there and then... i was scared of him.. but i eventually did.

my heart was that big, it accepted that and decided to move on with it. i was proud of myself for being a good Christian but a bad me, for letting it get that far.


__________________________________________

* this may well be fiction or fact. you decide.