an affair to remember

i had one of these. i dont regret it. in fact, it's one of those things that i love to think about again and again. the thought of it brings a smile on my face. happy thoughts. if i had pixie dust, id be flying all over the place. for a couple of months, he made me happy. happy enough to ignore the hurt im causing other people.. happy enough to let it get that far. those were the best 8 months (and a bit more) of my life.

he was a very good friend. i met him through a friend of a friend of a friend. i didnt like him the first time i saw him. no wait scratch that, i liked him really. not enough to admit it to friends tho. my friends liked him too. crushes. so highschool. so there i was, admiring his skinny frame. i like my men skinny. i dont know why. he talked to me, asked for my number, called me a couple of times till we clicked. that doesnt mean we hooked up. not yet. so for what seemed like forever, i enjoyed the joys of being the girl friend. one of the boys. it was fun. i had the inside look of the workings of the man-brain (if there is such a thing). i tagged along their lakads, got invited to their inumans, pati sa mga ligawan napasama din ako. he was the one who held my hair back when i puked because i had too much lambanog. he rubbed my back for me when i was tired. he tickled my fancy when i wasnt in the mood. he fed me, i fed him. he came along whenever i needed someone to come with. and then he had a girlfriend.

life changed for me. i was so used to having him around. but he surprised me. after a little while, he came back, things went back to our normal. they were still together tho. so we had to literally share him. girlfriend of course didnt like me. i thought "why would she hate me. i didnt do anything to her". not till that night anyway. that fateful night that i never thought will happen. first time wasnt as good as i imagined it to be. more blah really. so he redeemed himself the next time, and the next and the next and the next... (:D) it was fun. it was good. it made me feel pretty. his touch was very soothing. i loved the way he cuddles when he wants something. i like how we act after, like nothing happened. not that i was complaining. i liked it that way. we're still very good friends. i love him. i really do. but that love is nothing romantic. now, we talk but not that much. he still tells me stories of his life, i still tell him insert-bad-word-here a lot because he's been a bad boy. i know he misses me even if he refuses to tell me straight up. he sends me messages and i welcome them. i miss him. my only regret is not spending more time with him before i left. well, he promised to sundo me when i finally get to go home. so im looking forward to that. and a whole lot more.