should i give myself a chance? should i let my guard down? should i put myself out there and take the risk? believe me, im trying to, im already out there, im waiting and im vunerable. i thought if i opened up, everything will fall into it's place. but it doesnt seem like it's reaping any rewards. it's just causing me so much stress, and pain and longing i have'nt felt in a while. my kuya told me that i should be more careful because he said, everything could go wrong in a snap of a finger. i seriously believe you kuya, i do.

there are days where im glad i let myself feel this way, there are days that i regret opening up. it's sometimes nice to depend on someone, to have someone support you every now and then. because we cant be strong all the time, right? but, when they can't step up, it hurts you more than you expect. problem is, you can't really ask for more. because that's all they can give to you. you have to settle. you have to be content. because you have no right.

am i just being strung along this rocky road? or is it for real?

it feels like we're just playing. nothing serious. nothing real. but sometimes i feel like there's something there. something worth staying for. sometimes.

do i stay or do i go? do i stop this kalokohan now while it's still new and save myself from hurting? or do i just dive in?




Run, Forrest! Run!

- Jenny, Forrest Gump