happy birthday daddy :)

Today (in the Philippines) is my Dad's birthday. It would've been his 51st. I miss my Dad. I feel like I did not make enough memories with him to last me through my lifetime. I regret not doing a lot of things with my Dad while I was still back home. The truth is that I am very disappointed that I do not remember a lot about my Dad. I don't know why but I can not seem to remember events unless someone tells me about them. That's why when my sister came to visit me here, all I wanted her to do was tell stories of my Dad to me. I wanted her to tell me all about his last days, all about while I was gone and all about him and his everyday things. I remember all the good stuff about him. I remember him taking me to school every day of my pre-school, elementary and high school life. I remember he taught me how to be tough, and I learned how to be "barumbado" because I knew that he would back me up whenever. He accepted every part of me and he taught me how to fend for myself. I loved him in silence. I never told him how much I loved him until I was far away from him. And then I appreciated everything he did for me and our family.

When he died, I did not even expect it. I was blown out of my mind. I felt lost and depressed and sick to my gut. All I could think about was I did not even tell him that I love him so much. It was too late. As much as my family assured me that my Dad knew, I did not. My whole life that is my only regret. Not saying to my Dad how much I love him. And now, I cant say it enough.

I love you Daddy. I will love you till the end of time.