domesticated me

my very own caldereta. i cooked it. i cut up the ingredients. i tasted it to see if it needed more patis. i stirred it. i waited an hour for it to simmer. i washed all the aftermath. i ate it. well tomorrow i'll eat it.

*ok i had a little help test tasting it but it was almost all ira!

another one of those that shouldnt even be

wouldnt it be nice if at the moment you wake up, you're greeted by the drooling face of the love of your life? you have to admit, no matter how icky that is, you still find it adorable. wouldnt it be nice to come home to that person who makes everything seem like heaven and more? i've been through all that and a little bit more.

i loved coming home to our apartment, sleep in our bed, eat with our plates and watch shows and dvds on our t.v. we work in the same company but we had different shifts the first few months we lived together. i was graveyard, his schedule was from 6 am to 2 pm. so while he was at work, he would email me at work (although he knows i wont check it till i get to work that night) and tell me to have a good shift and how he's going to be excited to see me when he gets to work the next day and how he would love to make love to me when he gets home. home. it sounded so good coming from him... he wants to come home to me.

living with him felt so much like being married to him. we both had to deal with the bills, laundry, food and the like. we also had to clean up after ourselves since we both dont have anybody to clean for us anymore like we used to. during the first month it was just me and him. and then after a week a girl from work wanted to move in with us. we had two bedrooms anyway and we were using just one so we decided to wing it and take her in. we all just clicked. she made the house brighter and she became our "baby". one cool memory of that apartment was when we decided to do a little general cleaning. we poured water all over the place and then the (x) bf (the perv!) splashed us with water. so it was like a wet-tshirt-clean-the-house contest. obviously, he enjoyed the chores more than we did :) having a roomie was more fun than we could imagine. she dated a guy who hooked us up with unlimited cable for a fixed price of 2thoupesos (read: illegal). she provided entertainment in the wee hours of the morning or midday.. that is hearing them doing the old in-out. to be fair, we sometimes keep her up too *grin*

when we made our first major purchase together, it was like another step towards something big. we bought a refrigerator. he called it our little green baby. he wanted to put another lock on the door just to protect it and whenever we were out for a long time he would worry about who would take care of our other baby. he and i discoved a lot of stuff about each other that either made or broke the relationship. in my perspective (the loving, honest and affectionate one) all of his "bad" habits became endearing. i used to love knowing that this guy isnt perfect but he's trying to be just for me (or so i thought). my pet peeves really became the things that i love the most about him. i used to hate basketball. dont know who, dont care why thats what i say. but during the course of our relationship i was forced to watch basketball games since he loved them so much i couldnt say no to him. little by little i started asking questions and i quickly learned who played with what team, who sucked and who rocks. now, thanks to him, i can talk basketball with any afficionado. know what they're talking about and be able to comment too! he was such a ps2 addict. you won't believe how much time he spends playing his 2kwhatevers and rpgs. sometimes his body just gives up on him.. he falls asleep with the game on and controller in hand with his fingers twitching.. and i would find that.. well, cute. i grew to love watching him play and at times he wouldnt play a new game if i wasnt there. (of course it's all different now) he wouldnt play a scary game because he wants me to be there to be scared with him. cheesy stuff you know.



looking back, i came into thinking if it was all for convenience? was it just easier for me to live in manila than go home to pampanga everyday from work? was it just easier for the both of us? financially intelligent to share expenses? emotionally helpful to have someone to talk to in the wee hours of the morning when you can't sleep because your biological clock wont let you? physically? well, sure, we can say we physically connected but it wasnt just that.
i would like to think that whatever happened to us was just a product of convenience. something i had to do. something wise to do...
i would like to think that everything we went through was just part of the lesson i had to learn about life. he taught me how to be independent ( in a way), how to take care of someone other than myself, how to do stuff i havent done before, like love and get left behind and love again. or at least stand up and live life again.

that was fun. i hope i dont get to do that again.

home

happy birthday mariel!

my niece is one year old today. i just finished talking to my whole family and they're talking about how busy they are preparing for mariel's party. how i miss family gatherings. i am one of the few who actually enjoy having family over for dinner or lunch. my family is so much fun. im usually laughing the whole time we're together. so my dad says that a few of his friends from the neighborhood are helping cook the handa for the party. how i miss smelling the aroma of kapampangan cuisine. the authentic kapampangan cuisine. they're having a pabitin even if my niece is only a year old and will probably get stomped on if she dared joined the other kids in jumping to grab toys and chichirya. but still thats fun. kung andun lang ako, im sure i would be standing on the sidelines grabbing all the chichirya i could reach for.

i talked to my mom and dad and aunt and sis and my 2 nieces. i suddenly had a pang of homesickness. i miss them sooo much. all i could really hope for is that they could all come and visit me next year. if i cant go home, then i hope they could bring home to me. all i have to dread now is saying goodbye to them all over again. *sniff*

when will i find my landon?

sometimes i wish that i can just live a dream and just die the next day.

and at those times i forget that life is more than just looking for that someone..

or waiting for that someone..


ira, stop watching cheesy a walk to remember!!

how much do i miss bubble gang? A LOT!

this made my night. nice night cap. i love bitoy!

head head headache

im leaving you. goodbye. i've always thought that you were my fallback. i was yours too. but after thinking about it a little bit too much, ive decided to just let go and move on. no fallbacks. no safety nets. fair game.

wwyd?

there's this couple who broke up a looong time ago. they broke up because girlie met someone and decided that she would be better off with boy2. she did have fun, she had her shares of ups and downs, tears and laughs with boy2. boy1 also moved on and loved others too. when girlie and boy2 broke up. girlie managed to open up communication lines with boy1. they started talking again, emailing often, phone conversations and they even met up. girlie was due to leave the country a few weeks after they started talking again. girlie wanted a last minute booty call and decided to take boy2 to a trip to the beach. well, she was leaving the country so dont blame her. (hehee) when girlie was abroad, they still talked and emailed as often as they could. sometimes the communication stops when the boy has a gf. so they made a pact. signed, sealed, delivered. they made a pact to meet up and have a little vacay when girlie finally gets back home, no matter the status of both. on and off on and off, thats how often they talk to each other. girlie gets tired of it. boy keeps popping up whenever girlie starts forgetting about him. now girlie finally blocks him off and cuts all forms of communication with him. would you do the same?


sigh. above situation isnt really important. so you dont have to answer.

i have a freakin migrane. i have to stop thinking and caring too much.

blah.

on being thankful and loving jack sparrow

thank God for keeping my roomie, Ate Liza and her sister and her sister-in-law safe and away from harm. they had an accident right off exit 10 on I-270 and thank the angels and saints that they got out of it with just bruises and no major injuries. their land rover tumbled three times before stopping on its roof on the side of the freeway.


on a more lighter note, we watched Pirates of the Carribean Dead Man's Chest this morning and i am very happy with the movie, save for the ending (il rant about this later). the whole movie had a lot going on but it was very funny and not dragging at all. i was giggling a lot and laughing out loud at at lot of jack sparrow's scenes. will turner had a lot of scenes and lines in this movie. i love the part where the crew of the black pearl were held prisoners by a bunch of island cannibals who thought jack sparrow was a god in human form. they were imprisoned in balls made out of human bones and they were hanging from a vine that goes over a cliff. then they all try to escape and they were swinging the balls .. yeah i dont think it will sound funny if i kwento it. better watch it to know what im talking about.

anyway, (spoiler alert) i absolutely hate the ending. bitin sobra! kainis! so jack sparrow gets eaten by the huge squid that apparently does davey jones' mala-kamatayan nyang work. then will thinks that elizabeth and jack have an affair because the last time he saw jack, he was making out with elizabeth (yes, they had a kissing scene). then in the end of the movie, geoffrey rush suddenly comes out.. apparently to help find and save the thought-to-be-dead captain jack sparrow. then it abrubptly ends there. argh! bitin!

oh well. it was a fun movie. i liked it a lot. well, i loved the first one to start with so i was pretty excited with the second installment. thank goodness i only have to wait one more year before watching the third one.

yey johnny depp! you rock!

something ive been singing to myself lately

senti trip? i dont know. ive been so down lately but i can see the silver lining, so im not losing hope.

and no, this is not because of my gael garcia lookalike. hehee

my most awesomest sunday in a while

today was laundry day. dreaded laundry day. it's a long trip to the laundromat and im not looking forward to running around looking for empty washers and dryers. when i got there, it wasnt as packed as i imagined it to be. thank goodness. looked around. no cute guys. oh well. and then i had to reload my card to use in the machines. asked the guy behind the counter and there, i saw my gael garcia bernal look-a-like. *teehee*

so there starts my awesome day. i gave him a sly smile and asked (like i didnt know) how to reload the card. so he shows me and gives me a smile back. i know that may face turned red, i feel the blood rushing through my cheeks. damn it. he might have noticed and i talk like a bumbling idiot whenever im around a guy i like so thats a dead giveaway. i shut myself up and i just said thank you. i loaded up my machine and because i had nothing to do, i looked around and just watched other people load up their machines and fold their clothes. sigh. and then i hear someone behind me ask "is everything alright? do you need help?" and to my surprise it was my gael garcia bernal. *sigh* i gave him that stupid smile and said, "im ok thanks" and looked away. i didnt want him to see that i was kilig!

ate liza gave me another chance to talk to him. she told me to ask him if there were other carts available. i already know that he would say no but i took the chance and sungab na! i went to him and asked him if there were more carts. he said sorry they're all out but he said, i can help you carry stuff if you want (insert smile here). i grinned from ear to ear and told him sure, maybe later when we're done. i walked a way with a stupid smile on my face. im sure he knows by now that ive been following him. haha.

after that he kept asking me if im fine and if im finding everything ok. and i would just stare at him and nod. stupid me. say something ira! say something!

when i was done washing, i started to look for a free dryer. darn. someone keeps getting the ones i see. then here comes my savior again. my gael garcia bernal. he told me that he was done doing his laundry and if i wanted to use his. awww how sweet. i said sure and there i was using his dryer, smiling and making small talk and then i froze. demmit ira you always do this!

to avoid further humiliation, i avoided him the whole afternoon. i walked by him without looking at him, pretended to do something when he's near. pucha ira chance mo na yun!

next time we do laundry there, im definitely asking for his number. haha. not really, i just hope i get to do more than just show him my stupid smile or my flushed face.

sigh.