one of the hardest things i have ever had to do is to get over a crush. petty as it may seem, crushes are the hardest to forget. im sure we all still remember our first crush, or the crush we had when we were in highschool, or that one person who still makes you feel giddy whenever you see him.


it's hard to forget because the what if's and the should've beens will never be answered.


i used to rationalize having crushes. no complications, you feel the high without any committments, the high never fades, no worries about getting pregnant, or cheating or buying them gifts. it used to be fun for me.

but now, i hate having crushes. they have this power over me that no one can understand. they make me feel happy, they can make me feel sad, they can ruin my day or they can make my day. they can even deprive me of my precious sleep, or motivate me to go to the gym everyday.

what's frustrating is, i know they shouldnt have that much effect on my life, but i still let them do so.

argh. to hell with him.

for the strong and the not so strong

All I can hear are the crickets
And the whistle from some lonely freight
I've been working so hard to make everything right
but for now it's ... it'll just have to wait

Cause tonight I want ... I'd like you to rock me to sleep
I'd like you to sing me a song.
I'm tired of trying to figure things out
And I'm tired of being so strong.

I've never been too good at asking
I'm more apt to do it alone
And it's strange how a lot of us think something's wrong
If we can't do it all on our own

It's funny how times when you're hurting
Make what's so familiar seem strange
So when you need help, it's hardest to ask
And it always takes so long to change


yes, we are weak too. we also need someone to rock us to sleep. we also need someone who can be stronger than us, someone we can lean on. we also need someone with whom we can be weak with, someone who will catch us when we fall, someone who can push us when we can not go on anymore.

to the strong bats who think that they are alone, know this... there are a lot of us who people tend to overlook, there are a lot of us who people think we can handle everything.

we are not alone. we have each other.

arrgghh!!!

how come you've changed sooo much. you are not the person i know anymore. you are not that person i used to eat hotdogs from 711 with, not the person who loved eating burgers and fries before work and the person who drank calorie-laden drinks to keep us awake all night.

i have come to realize how much we've grown apart now.. how far you are from me, how you don't know ME anymore and how much i do not know about you.

are we still friends even?

i feel so distant.. it's like im just watching you do your thing from afar.

i know life is different now, i know priorities have changed, i know people change too, but i thought our friendship was stronger than that. i thought it was different.

why do you make me feel this way? i can not explain how this hurts me, i can not put it into words.. i just feel.

i do not want you to stop what you are doing right now, because what you're doing now is making you happy. go ahead, i got your back. but i might be a couple of steps behind you for a while.


but im still here.

my first thought for the year

i want to see myself basking under the sun, cold drink in hand, shades on and listening to my favorite songs, again.

it's been a while since i felt the sand between my toes. i miss it. i miss living in a tropical country where it's summer all year long, where the humidity didn't bother me as much, where i can walk around in a shirt and a pair of shorts and flipflops pretty much anytime i want to, where i can eat halo-halo and ice cream to cool off..